So as I am flying on my way home from California, not only am I an emotional wreck, but i'm stuck in this place of realization that this season of my life is over, while not really sure what to expect for the next. It was about 4 am and I had to wake up some of my best friends to say bye...which by the way, waking up and the first thing you do is cry realizing you have NO idea when you will get to see these girls again is a miserable way to start the day.

Back to the plane, well I slept through my entire first one hour flight, but when I got onto the second flight, I began to realize that the past 5 months were not just some missions thing that is now over, it was not just some thing I went and did to change people's lives, and pour into them all that Jesus had poured into me, but it was much more...so much more.

It is a lifestyle.

Do I really get that? That when God throws me back out on my own, that I am the one who has to take initiative, to still be sensitive to what the Holy Spirit is saying, praying and still asking God to use me, even on my way home.

It doesn't just end when we set foot on that plane, but really that is where it begins.

I could hear God saying, "So what have you learned? And how bold are you willing to be without your team, without anyone else seeing? I'm not done with you yet, I'm still gonna use you, wherever you are, whatever you do, I love you and I love these people too much to let you slip away."

So as I sit there, I put in my ipod and begin to listen to a sermon about giving recklessly. It talks about how the early church in Acts never had any members lacking. Why? Because they had the mindset that its not ours, that when we give and we give, we also receive and receive. Cool concept, huh? Yeah, I thought so too. That even though we feel like when we give, we are loosing somehow, that somehow now we have less than, when in reality we have SO much more than!

Well I was having all these realizations and revelations of just how faithful Jesus is, so I take out my ipod to kinda just sit and be still and quiet (which AM flights are perfect for this) and listen. Just listen to Jesus, who gave more than I need, who never has lacked anything.

Then the man sitting right next to me, which throughout the entire flight also took over half of my seat as well, which made for an interesting 3 hours...not the point, but he just started talking. And honestly if you asked me how it even happened, I couldn't tell you, all the sudden I was just going on and on about what I had just done for the past 5 months.

So we start talking and this man was hungry, hungry for something, something that I felt like the Holy Spirit asked me, "How bold are you gonna be?" So I did, I just started talking all about how generous Jesus is and how abundant His love is and how that carried me through YWAM, and literally mid-sentence, BAM I got stopped. He just butted right. He was like, I actually feel like Jesus has been telling that I need to give more to my church.

Unload session began.

He told me all about his past and how he had made all these mistakes, I'll spare the details because I kinda feel awkward telling his personal life. But all to say that he has has been going to this cowboy church (only in the south) and i'm not even really sure what that means, maybe they all take their horses instead of cars. So like 5 years ago or so, he felt the same tug on his heart that he needed to give more to his church and so since he breeds horses he bred this really beautiful horse that was worth a lot of money (he gave me more details, but honestly I didn't understand that lingo) so he went to his pastor and told him that he wanted to hold a raffle to raise money for the church, but wanted to stay anonymous. Well if you know much about small towns, that doesn't really work, so his pastor began to tell everyone who it was and he seemed just really hurt by that.

So as time went on he had raised thousands of dollars for the church and when they drew for the raffle, they drew his name.

The first words out of his mouth were, "God is so faithful."

It's true, God is so SO faithful! So he felt just that God was asking him, are you willing? Are you willing to give your best for me? And when he gave the most prized possession he had, he got it right back.

Funny how I had just listened to a sermon on giving, and here this man is saying that he feels like God is telling him to give more back to the church since he hadn't really given since the raffle. He said that I was confirmation for a few things that he felt he needed to do.

He had seen one of his best friends from years ago, who had betrayed him in one of his divorces, in the San Fran airport, and his friend came up to him and tried to just simply say hello. He said to me, "I was a complete jerk. I think I need to apologize." So he told me that he really didn't even remember why he was bitter, or what he did. Over and over through our conversation, he was telling me, "you know, after this flight, i'm gonna go apologize to him."

He allowed me to speak into him about the situation, and it's funny how even though I had no intention of talking to anyone on this flight, God said otherwise.

Throughout the rest of the flight we talked about other broken relationships and how he needed to love his kids no matter what. I had mentioned the prodigal son, and I asked him if that happened to him, after all his kids did, and money they used him for, could he still love them? Could he still welcome them back with open arms?

As soon as the plane landed, he emailed his kids, who he hasn't talked to in over 5 years, that he still loves them no matter what.

He challenged me even as the Spirit led me to challenge him.

God's never done using us. That man now has mended relationships, and a mended heart all because Jesus is never done with him, He will never stop pursuing him.

While I was waiting to pick up my bags with my parents, I was telling them this story. Then I was walking out the door, and he yelled from behind me, "Audrey I did it! I said sorry!"

My heart melted. He just showed Jesus to his best friend. He let go of the bitterness that had been residing in him for years.

He let go of himself, because in that plane ride, he realized that people are more important than the bitterness we hold.

God is never done. God is always working, always moving. And for some reason He chose a little girl from Texas to start that. Glory to HIS name!

He pursues me, even when I chose to close off the world in a plane ride.

Seek first HIS Kingdom! forever and ever AMEN!