Monday, August 29, 2011


taken by Sabrina Tubbs, isn't her photography beautiful?!




ok so here's what it is floating in my heart.


I wish that I could put in words the freedom that Jesus gives. I mean let's be honest, how can we really put freedom into words? But I think that I am just so overjoyed with how much He really does love us and pursue us even when we only give Him a piece, a shattered little piece, of what He deserves.


I'm just sitting here in Mugwalls (a coffee shop in college station, that literally has mugs on the walls) and i'm overwhelmed with how good Jesus is. I can't even put it into words, I wish that y'all could just jump into my heart and feel how peacefully it beats (or experience it yourself!) as I read things like Isaiah 12 because He CHOOSES to love us in a way that we don't have to
worry
                              fear
         be anxious
                   stress
nothing but just saying that YOU are the joy of my heart.


it's a beautiful thing to experience the freedom in Jesus. He is so good that, no wonder He leads us into parts of His glory at times because I think I would explode in the fullness of Him.
I think I may just run outside and scream of His joy, His faithfulness.


Last night I got to be in the wonderful presence of Sabrina Tubbs via skype and it just reminded me the sweet simplicity of our Jesus. I think what I love is that each time I am reminded that we literally don't have to fear because the God that can calm RAGING seas (take a second to picture that... on a boat in the middle of the sea, you are small and nothing compared to that huge body of water running deep and wide and then all the sudden a storm comes and you look out realizing that you can't do anything to stop it. You realize that you are so small in comparison to the waters that rage at you) can calm a storm beyond on understanding. That when I just sit here and read His words in the midst of craziness and life and just begin to praise Him and be thankful, my nonsense MELTS. So why do we choose to live in fear? Why do we choose to think He is anything BUT good? Because that is a choice we make, not a feeling He gives.


Jesus, help us to choose to speak truth and as we speak truth you begin to untwist what the devil has twisted.


Seriously, take 10 minutes and just read truth, speak truth, and your heart will ravish for the One who gives truth.


i love each of you, thank you for continuing to encourage me and love me. Jesus' love through you is so sweet.



Thursday, August 25, 2011

beyond belief


Its crazy to think that through all the hardships and difficult circumstances in our lives that Jesus empowers us to not only move past those, but to relish our hearts in how He feels. That He opens opportunities that we can choose to step into or not choose to step into. That through the things that we struggle with the most, that hurt the most… we blame Jesus for. But like I was watching in a documentary today, these women who had lost their husbands in 9/11 and now are widows with families. So they had a choice to be angry, they had an opportunity to live in a life that would ultimately destroy them with depression. These women chose not only to reach out to one another, and the widows of the states but then they asked the question, what about the women of Afghanistan? What about the other side? The women who lost their husbands, but are living in much more bondage and can’t really grieve and reach out like we can here. They made a choice, and here they are now, loving the widows of Afghanistan. “If we can teach love and kindness instead of hatred, we believe that is how terrorism will end.” So we make a big deal out of it here in America, but they live with these grievances in poverty and forgotten.
Something to think about. When we live in grief, or in the midst of a disaster, one: where do we shift the blame? and two: what about the other side? or our neighbor?
And when a disaster happens and we immediately we shift the blame to Jesus, is there another reason that you have such a deep reason to blame someone, or something?

and if you have netflix, you should watch Beyond Belief.
I encourage you, to give 10 minutes to check out this website and read some of the realities. After reading it, no wonder Jesus tells us to take care of the widows. 




James 1:26-27
If anyone thinks himself to be religious, and yet does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this man’s religion is worthless. Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world.
1 Timothy 5:5
Now she who is a widow indeed and who has been left alone, has fixed her hope on God and continues in entreaties and prayers night and day.

Monday, August 22, 2011

this is my face, on a blog!



cute face right? from Audrey Spurgin on Vimeo.

update real life:
here is where i am at with monthly support:

committed total right now: $176
still needed monthly support: -$674-$724

perspective, hopeful, by faith, date to move to Pismo Beach: September 24th!!
we're talking crazy miracles right?! it's gonna be crazy cool to see Jesus do the impossible through y'all.

and i will keep you guys updated on how monthly support is coming over this next month, but as far as how the past blogs have been so focused on giving...now I let the Spirit move in your hearts and do what He wills! So probably not many more, if any posts will be specifically about this topic. It is a huge part of my life and what is mostly consuming my time now, but Jesus is so much more than just this topic, so we'll explore that more together! 






mhhhmm. AMEN. I will go with You.

coffee, thrift store finds, and art supplies

Money is going to be spent everyday, we choose that.
So the better question is what are we going to spend our money on?

Something fading or something investing? Something lasting?
Because we can talk and talk all day about how we don’t have the money to give and invest in the Kingdom. Or we may not even say we don't have the money, we just blatantly run away from it. So when I asked myself this question, I had to take a step back and really ask myself.
WHAT do I spend my money on?

Here is the list that I came up with:

Coffee
Thrift store finds
Art supplies

And yes, if I look back at my bank account, this is literally the ONLY thing that is spent (welcome to a small income, which I love!)

And so then I began to ask myself, yes…some of those things are investing in something lasting. Take a long conversation over coffee with a friend, talking about The Living Room (soon to come!) and praying with them through struggles. Or just enjoying the company of friends and being joyful. Lasting. But some are NOT. They really aren’t wrong things, but where can I invest in a lasting move?

My parents have blessed me TREMENDOUSLY this summer by providing a free place to stay, free food (and for those of you who know my mom, this is not some freezer meal), and gas for the sweet mini van I drive! :) Through them investing in me and my life, I have been freed to give. Freed to give because I have been given to.

But even in that, like I have said over and over, just because I am a missionary, living off of others support, I AM STILL CALLED TO GIVE. Missionaries were not exempt, seriously. Where did we get that idea?

So where can I give?

And Jesus is so creative, I love that about Him. He said, “You know those paintings that you sell? Why don’t you give all that money away and monthly support people?”
Hmm. I like that idea Jesus!

And I don’t say this at all to be like oh lalala boast in me, but I say this as an encouragement to ask yourself this question. Where has He blessed me, where has He gifted me? And how can I invest that back to the Kingdom?
It REALLY is fun giving! It’s freeing and isn’t He worth it?! I wish I could write with joy that you could feel, because I am freed to give and to love and to be…because He chose me! He chose me to love, that I can’t love without Him. So when I receive that love, I am moved…and I give because that’s what Jesus does.

I can’t change your heart, I can only say it so many times, but let that little conviction in your heart be Jesus saying, “give.” Trust me, who says it makes sense?
I just read a blog by my friend Sabrina Tubbs, who is an incredibly talented photographer, and she gave away her camera! Why? Because Jesus told her. Because as a Father, He loves to give.

Now what is He telling you? 




I've been reading through Mark, its pretty swell. My heart leaps when I read this:
Mark 4:24- And He said to them, Take heed what you hear; with what measure you measure it will be measured to you; and increase especially to them who hear.


He's a good Father

Friday, August 19, 2011

prayer

Prayer. THINGS HAPPEN WHEN WE PRAY. things happen when we pray alone, and things happen when we pray as a body. Like i've said in a previous blog, prayer is a necessity! 


I will ask that each person that reads this, or passes it on to read, or whatever... will pray with me.


I have a few places set up to speak coming up at the end of this month and in September about what I am doing with YWAM and where I will be headed at the end of September. I ask you to pray for favor and for His words to flow through me. That I keep saying glory to His name. I know that it seems like I keep talking about all this (cause I do) but I just know that as I  annoyingly pray, as a daughter would to her father, I know that He hears all my annoying and persistent prayers. And guess what... HE LOVES THEM!


But I need help.
As you can all tell by now, I love being vulnerable. I'm honest with where I'm at and I think that Jesus has taught me that the more I do this, the more He can really move. Cause I become less prideful and He becomes my lifesaver, my ezer. 


So pray with me, pray that monthly support comes in, in all forms. People dedicating time to pray for me and for the base as a whole and what God is doing, and pray for finances. 


Simple and short. The Kingdom of God is at hand! Let's do this, let's say yes to that!


Pray against the enemy, and praise God in the fact that he is losing! he's scrambling and us praying only makes him weaker in our lives.


Just how in Mark 2 when the guys lower their paralyzed friend down from the roof inside to get to Jesus. He loved their persistence, their blatant faith that they trusted that He could heal him. That if they just got to Him, they could see healing in their friend.


I say thank you to Jesus IN ADVANCE that He is going to provide, that through OUR prayers and giving, He is not only going to do things on this earth, that it will be His glory, but I pray that as we lay down the time to really pray for each other that He moves our hearts to more of His. Isn't that what it's about anyway? That we become more like Jesus?


I am blessed for the people who have already said yes to partnering with me as I transition into YWAM, and I pray for the ones who are to come!


Giving does not have to be in large amounts to our worlds view of money, but we give what we have to see HIS Kingdom built, and not ours.


I had a really good friend say to me, as Jesus led him to support me, that "I know that you will be using it for the only purpose that it should ever be spent" (Which trust me, it kicked me in the stomach as well) "However, Audrey, you must know, that my mentality is rooted in the basic understanding of who we are as Children of our most High King.
I am not giving to you, rather I am simply giving back what my one true love deserves. This is not my money, nor is this your time. What we receive has been given, and beyond the understood maxim of giving back, we give our money and our time so that our lifestyles may be best reflectant of an Ephesians 5:1-2 calling.
I give so that He may receive, and I know that you will do the same."


Powerful understanding of the joy of giving! You are needed!


We rise, we walk, and we take risks!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

so here it is

I know that Jesus has given me this heart for discipleship, because I mean, look at His life. He WAS He IS the example of that. 


I know after being home since June that I have had my bumps and bruises and small little triumphs! All to say that Pismo feels like more of my home now than ever. I LONG to be with my family there, I long to begin living life face to face and day to day with them. Not that skype dates at the base office with these people aren't great, or arguing over what size really is a Texas sized steak.
Jesus has given me unbelievable community there, people that I call to cry with and to tell stories about how I got stuck in a parking garage cause I couldn't find $3. Or times when I'm literally asleep in my bed, but I hear the phone ring and look to see that its one of my best friends from Pismo calling just to tell me how much she loves me today.


I long to be there to begin what Jesus has been burning in my heart since I first was there in January. It's a place like no other, they are people like no other. They call and hold me accountable, pray with me when I'm wrestling through situations.
I mean I could go on and on about this, but in the end, I can't wait to be pulling up to my new home in September.


For most of you that have talked to me about what's next, you know my plan (hence the word "my") is to be there at the end of September. But really, honestly, I really do feel like I will  be there in September! I trust that I will be. 
I put my hope and my trust in Him, because He is the giver of all things. All things come from Him and through Him. And truthfully why would I want it any other way?


All to say, how can you tangibly help me?


As I was daydreaming last night and just talking with Jesus about what else I could do as I wait, I had this idea. He actually gave me this idea.


Roughly, I would like to have $800-$900 a month, through supporters like you here reading this blog. This would include all expenses? And what expenses are those?




Food, gas for car, required monthly base support for being a member of staff, admin fee to YWAM Pismo base, rent and utilities, just for fun, saving for outreach monthly (twice a year I will be leading an outreach), and outgoing support for other missions and missionaries (because I am also called to give)

This, I know, seems impossible. And quite obviously without Jesus and y'alls support..it is. I can't do this alone.

Here is my tangible idea:
So you spend about $4-$5 on a latte or special coffee drink.
Wanna cut two of those out a month?
Because if you do, I would only need 80-90 people a month, giving $10 a month! JUST $10! 2 LESS LATTES!
And if we get really crazy, if I had 40-45 people giving $20 a month I would have enough support monthly! That may cost you a few less lattes, but who knows, it could be worth it! 
I mean, you get to partner with Jesus and me to go and tell all the nations about His unfailing love.

Think about it.
Let me know what you think!

Let's meet and talk about it, cause I would love that too.
wanna come with me?


Friday, August 12, 2011

overflow

I hear ya, its been a while since I kind of updated you on where life is and lalala.

I don't really know what to say, or really where to start. I have literally been sick the past few days because of things that Jesus is revealing to me that are just a good firm reminder of where I fall short, of where I need Him, and of where I just am so human and He is so God. But even in that He has shown me my value, as His.
Even with those reminders, He teaches me how much He loves me in the midst of it. It's me accepting that powerful and heavenly love.

I've done a few things this week that have brought me to this place.
one: started reading Captivating
two: began listening to the podcast Circuit Riders
three: painting

After much fight, I finally caved in and began reading Captivating. My mentor, and one of my best friends, Alisa, has been trying to get me to read this book for YEARS. And it's been sitting in my book shelf collection for that same amount of time. As I packed up to leave for Lubbock to see my sister, on a whim I grabbed it. I had hours and hours to read this book on the way. After hour 3 of being in the car, I picked it up, and began to read.
At first I didn't even get a pen out because I knew I wouldn't be highlighting anything.
If I got over myself and my tiff against the whole being called a "princess"(which I HATE being called), and they use this kind of lingo in the book, but I read the book for the value of what they were teaching.
And I learned that, the root of why I was running away, and it was because I was too scared to be reminded that an all perfect Jesus, and all perfect lover, could really love me when I had slapped Him in the face time and time again. I was scared of feeling judged.
Then I read why He created Eve. 
And I broke. And am still breaking. 

"Ezer Kenegdo"
That's what He called Eve. In the english language we couldn't even translate it to what the value of the word was fully.
It means sustainer beside him.
That it was not good for man to be alone, so He made an ezer kenegdo. (Genesis 2:18)
We have translated her to a helper or companion. But she is a sustainer. This word ezer is only used a few other places in the Old Testament, and every other time that the word is used, it is describing God, when the people needed Him to come through DESPERATELY. Life and death cries. He is their only hope, He is their ezer. Their lifesaver.
In the book it talks about how God did not call us to a safe life, He actually calls us to a life involving frequent risks and danger. So we need Him to be our ezer. If we chose the life of a safe mover, we don't need an ezer. 
I need Him because my life is in constant danger.


To top off this week of just, well I don't even know what to call it, because it's been a little bit of everything... I just want to give Him praise for His goodness. That just like the story in Hosea where the prostitute always runs away and He still not only loves her, but provides for Her, that I am still welcome in His arms.

Humbling. Very very humbling.

So partner with me this week in prayer as I seek out these things.
AND I'm going to ask each of you that read this blog, that you take a few minutes and ask Jesus, where can my life be more dangerous? Where can I explore more of a need for my ezer?

Mine is in being officially accepted to YWAM Pismo Beach!!!!! and desiring so much to be there in September, but being held back because of finances, so I say that I need an ezer who can save me from the idea that He is not enough.

really creepy, but i just think gnomes are hilarious!
Love each of you.

Friday, August 5, 2011

it's His simplicity



A very new friend of mine, as of last night, said a few things that have really stuck this urgency in my heart. I’m not even really sure if it’s urgency or the fact that we were just both in love with the same Jesus that has captivated our hearts and moved my heart into this transition. I know this may not make sense, and it doesn’t really in my head either but something in me last night began to fall more in love with the simplicity of how Jesus asked us to live. She said, “it’s the American way to complicate things, when really Jesus said I want you to love me and out of that love you will love others.” And it all really flows from that, to what we do, to how we serve, to how we give and spend our money. Well, its all the love of something, right?

We beg and beg and beg Jesus just to tell us His perfect will for our lives. We sit and that may be all we say to Him when we find that time to set aside to pray. But Jesus, in His goodness and grace, is patient to teach and show us that He cares so much more about our relationship with Him than what we do.

So the Bible really IS true when it says that we are FREE in Him. Yeah, so if the next chapter in your life is not what Jesus has best for you, sooooo what if you mess up, if you make a mistake? You can figure it out with Jesus.

Because Jesus cares so much more about YOU than He does about what you do. He created you as a human, therefore mistakes are just bound to happen, but when we are so in love with our Maker, even when we mess up, even when we may not see it His way, we are still His. Because the only thing that matters, the only thing that matters in those moments is that we have Him.

When its about stripping all else away and Him giving us the identity that we are His, that our eyes are so fixed on Him, somehow Jesus is no longer defined by a dollar bill.

It’s His simplicity that I love so much about Him, and it’s us who complicates the rest.

If we choose to walk away from that freedom, then we don’t know how much He really loves us.

We would be consumed by Him.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

reality hits

Holding on to this truth, that He is the only love strong enough.


Romans 12:1-2 (the message)
So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
11-13
Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.


Funny because even though I feel so far from Him, I know that I know that I know that He is right here, smiling at me. Whispering that He knows I want it, that I just have to trust. That He never pushes away, that's what I do. That I can come boldly to Him because I am His daughter, and thats what girls do. We run to our daddy when we just can't do it anymore.