swinging

I’ve been visiting my grandparents for the past few days. As I was driving in, I was telling one of my friends that I felt like I was re-living my childhood, taking a walk down memory lane.

I drove past my old school, my old house, and the neighborhood where I spent the first 10 years of my life.

Lucas, TX.

I still have my Lucas city t-shirt, with the famous Lucas tree on it, which I cried when they cut it down a few years ago because of the new housing developments that they built. I think I also cried when they bought out that land where my grandpa farmed across the street, and instead of looking out the front window and seeing a cornfield, now I see these gigantic houses, making this small town into a suburb.

My grandparents have always lived in the same house, as long as I have been alive, so walking into this place feels like home. It feels familiar to me.

That is a rare thing, when you are accustomed to moving so much. Even my parent’s house in Dallas has some new addition or change in it every time I come home (although I can’t blame them, because I would do the same thing. I love change.)

This morning I woke up to the smell of coffee made by nana, she’s had me drinking coffee since I was about 6 years old.

Then I went outside to the tire swing. This swing we have broken countless times because we would shove as many people on there as possible, and then go faster than what it could handle. Now for those of you who live in Texas, you understand me when I say that from before the sun comes up to after the sun goes down, ITS HOT. I was expecting to walk outside and then turn around and walk right back in, but the coolness of their back yard shaded by the trees, and laying on that tire swing with the breeze, was perfect. It intrigued me to stay.

I laid there just looking up and seeing the sun peek through all the layers of branches and leaves. I just love swinging. I love everything about it, and being in a quiet place, away from the big city I could enjoy the creation the way I needed to enjoy it. The way that my soul has longed to look at creation and just sit and swing and marvel at His creativity.

Funny, because the other night as I sat and watched the All-Stars game with my grandparents, during the commercial breaks we talked about Jesus and His creation, and how vast and wide He is. That they continue to discover new galaxies and things far beyond our reach that Jesus has made for us to stand in awe of. And I like to believe He did it just because He has a creative mind and spirit, like how He made me. We talked about nana and how Jesus has shown her pieces of heaven… multiple times, stories that I wouldn’t have been able to really appreciate until now. Stories that comforted her after the deaths of her brothers… Jesus is so compassionate. Then after the game, nana went to bed and me and dada just sat and talked about our struggles, the things that are hard for us, and that conversation filtered us into the old testament discussion and him just pouring his knowledge into my thirsty soul.

We talked about the Jewish people, and my experiences there and he asked me question after question, and then he would parallel that into how we are so similar to them. The need that our American people have to step outside of ourselves and see that this world is not for us. How “bubbled” we are.

This man, my dada, he, over and over has awed me with his diligence and dedication to Jesus. Even at his age, he refuses to say that he has it all figured out and that he knows it all, or that he’s seen and heard just about enough about Jesus. Each morning, still to this day, he wakes up and before he does anything else, he walks into the living room. He sits down on the couch next to the window, where he keeps his Bible and reading stuff, and gives each morning to Jesus. Every. Single. Day.

So as I swing and as I swung and I just laid there. Jesus just allowed me to simply lay there. I didn’t think about anything specific, didn’t ask any questions. I was just desiring Him so much, that just like I would desire to be with my best friends, just being there with them in their company, me and Him just swung the morning away.

I’ll be honest, its been a while since I just gave Jesus my time. Just my time, where I wasn’t hounding Him or praying for others, or myself, or asking Him question after question. I just enjoyed His presence. I just enjoyed the company of closing my eyes on that swing and being with Jesus. Something I wish I did more often.

We should just desire to be with Jesus, in the same way we just desire to go out with our friends or just spend the day with them. Since when is Jesus all about business? Since when have we ever had friendships, honest friendships that EVERY time that we go to hang out with them, we just want to take care of business? We just want to get right to the point, and not enjoy their company at all.

Shouldn’t we do the same with Jesus? Shouldn’t we just desire His presence so much that the rest comes after just being in His company?

I think I forget, we forget, that Jesus just loves us. He loves us and just wants to be with us. I don’t think He just wants to be this Jesus who is up there, giving orders and controlling our lives, having us beg all the time for, well, whatever. He LOVES us.

Can we accept that?

Do I really get that?

That He actually calls us worthy of His time.

That He will wait. HE will wait.

Yet over and over we are guilty of not treating Him like He is worthy of ours.

and p.s. this is my dada :) what a stud!