consider this joy!

So yes, support raising is more than I bargained for. I won't lie, this is probably one of the hardest things that I have ever done. It's time consuming, it's hard to hear Jesus when it concerns money (other than He has called me to Pismo and so I KNOW however He wants, He will provide) and its just difficult to lay aside the worries of what people will think or act or do or say when it comes to just bluntly asking for money to support this new lifestyle that Jesus has called me to. Now, its funny because this is actually a way, that I feel will hit some people to hopefully give, not to just me, but more importantly see the significance of the partnerships between the missions (which are the branches) and the givers (which are the root). Because if you really look at how missions work, some are called to stay, some are called to go, but we are ALL called! So for me, I am called to move away from my home. To move to a state I have never lived in, where I know a limited amount of people and where I have to be a plane ride away from all that is familiar.
Just as a little side note, if you aren't sure what I am doing, or why I am asking for support... in January I went to a Discipleship Training School in California. This is an organization that thrives on community and whose mission is to know God and to make Him known. I had the freedom to search my heart, discover more of who I am in Christ and what He has created me to be, and to gain more of a heart of compassion and love for the world around me, and to be able to serve people all over the world. It was 3 months of in-class lectures with a new teacher from all over the world each week. We hit subjects like Father Heart of God and Hearing God’s Voice, and SO many more! Then after the in-class training, we were sent out! My team went to Israel and Ethiopia, each for one month. If you ever have the chance, both places are phenomenal!

Well as I was on this journey, God began to really speak more and more to my heart about discipleship. I have always loves talking to people and helping them in the best way that I can, and that basically describes discipleship. So as the school went on, I just knew I was home. I knew that Pismo would become my new home to help and join in on what God is doing to raise His disciples. So all to say that in September I am moving to California! So I am asking for a longer-term partnership. But like we all know, it has to become a partnership. I will be living off of faith based support starting in September (which means that I can't have a job and I rely on God's goodness and monthly givers to support me), and I can't move there until I have the 'x' amount of support needed to live and do missions in California. So, continuing...

I grew up always thinking that it was such a sacrifice to give, that it was going to leave me empty, with less than, when really, i'm learning that it is one of the best things that I could ever do. To show the love for people who love Jesus and those who don't. To begin to move in the direction that God intended us to move. Like the church in Acts. We wonder why it worked so well, and how we have gotten so far away from God's perspective on church and missions, and us...

I want to be completely honest. 

Have we, have I, really asked for God's perspective and His heart on my money, on what God wants to do with what I "have?" Have we asked God about each thing in our life and what He thinks about it?

Cause if I had really done that, I would be giving a lot more of time, money, and prayers...

It's a call to sacrifice on both sides. To lay aside what we really think and to humble ourselves under His authority and what He thinks. To give up a few luxuries and send that money to where it will pour and plant seeds for the Kingdom. I know, we say, "but God, we don't have to extra money to give to missions..." Guess what, God isn't asking for our excess, He is asking for our core.

I know, and am beginning to realize that I have to move away from my ENTIRE family, friends, and people that support me. I am giving up seeing my sisters grow up, and my parents growing and changing Deep Ellum with their church. I have to leave my mentor, I am being called to give up family birthdays and graduations and lake get aways. I won't get to be there physically to be a role model to my sisters. I will be limited in my physical presence in general.

So in a sense, yeah, it's hard to give "our" money to missions, but I am sacrificing the same way that you will have to. We have this view that we are just giving and not getting to see the fruit, but that's the beautiful thing about a partnership. You are sending me out, you are my root, so I can go and be the branches. You can begin to tell these stories I experience as your own.

I've been reading and praying and seeking Jesus on, "ok God, what does a partnership really look like? What's my part, and honestly what does that mean?"

So Philippians has been a book I've been studying in. And one of the comments made about it, that I hadn't ever really thought of was, before it was a book, it was a personal letter from Paul, a missionary, back to his church that was supporting him. 

Philippians 1:3-11 says, I thank my God in all my remembrance of you, always offering prayer with joy in my every prayer for you all, in view of your participation in the gospel from the first day until now. For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus. For it is only right for me to feel this way about you all, because I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the gospel, you all are partakers of grace with me. For God is my witness, how I long for you all with the affection of Christ Jesus. And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in real knowledge and all discernment, so that you may approve the things that are excellent, in order to be sincere and blameless until the day of Christ; having been filled with the fruit of righteousness which comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.

The partnership begins with a relationship. When I read this, I can just see the dependency that they have on one another, between Paul and the church, which this means, that it is also hugely based on communication. And through this partnership, comes prayer. And the cool thing about prayer is that it goes 2 ways. I would love to pray for you, as well as you pray for me. Like I said in one of my blogs before, prayer has not always been something that I enjoy, or has always been easy for me, but the more that I learn about prayer, it becomes NECESSARY. Which makes my heart burn for His promises through prayer. This mission that Jesus has called me to is DEPENDENT on prayer. As the saints, we must pray the Kingdom here, that His glory would be all this world seeks. He moves. 

Now for the tougher part to swallow, partnership is a two-way. Yes, I am called to my part, as well as the people who are partnered with me. It won't always be easy, but God says, "am I not worth it? That I came that you may have eternal life. To know Me and to make Me known." (John 16). So that means, it is no longer just my responsibility for communication. This is NOT a ticket for laziness for me, but it means that in friendships, it's not just one always communicating with the other. I see partnership in the same way. I love you so I love to reach out to you and know about your life, as I hope it goes the other way as well. It reminds me that you are behind me, supporting me and joining in with what Jesus is doing worldwide! How cool?! You get to be worldwide too!

It means that I am not just out there on my own, but I have a support system, people that love Jesus and love me. It’s allowing both of us to see the potential Jesus has for us, and influencing and encouraging one another to seek that potential.

My heart, the reason that I give and the reason that I keep saying yes to Jesus in all these crazy things and places He is taking me, is because above all, I want to see His name glorified! I want to see His Kingdom, His people advance in the knowledge and understanding of Jesus. I want to see lives changed through the power of the body and through His word. So no matter what I say or do, it’s Jesus, it’s the Holy Spirit that will move you, and it’s the Holy Spirit that is going to speak to your heart. I put my confidence and my assurance in Jesus, not in the flesh. So whether I have a little or a lot, I will seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness. (Philippians 3).

I desire to see more of His children answering to the call that He hasn’t and will never let them go.

I am asking you to come with me. As I continue to seek and learn and grow and move in His Holy Spirit, in the glory of Him, I want to go as a body. I want to see Jesus’ perfect will for the body of Christ to be touched. I want to see Jesus move in you as He moves in all of us.

Can we, at the end, look back and say, “Jesus I gave all that I could, I gave with what little or much that I had. I gave so that they may know You. The ONLY thing that matters.” Instead of saying maybe in a few years when I have more money or more stability, then I can really give. But what about now?! Why not look now, having eternity as the forefront in our minds. Cause we can say, I count it all as loss compared to knowing You.

Ask Him. Ask Him. God where does my treasure lie?

This challenges me, even as I write, even though I know that I will be living off of your support, I am still in the same place…called to give.

He is asking me the same things.

So I challenge you like I am challenging myself. Wrestle with it, struggle with it, pray about it, talk about it. Ask Him to reveal things to you through His goodness.

Because He is worth it, His love makes it worth it ALL!

Let us join with all the angels singing, “Holy! Holy! Holy!”


What are we fighting against? And what is holding us back?


So let us pray together, pray that I can continue to walk in this humbly and surrender to HIS will. That I don't stop just because it seems like I have an answer. And I will pray for you that God speaks to your heart and that you go in obedience to that. I want to pray that He will continue to speak to you about what He has for you, because He is always seeking you and pursuing you. I will pray for me and you for more and more of a revelation of His son, Jesus Christ. Please let me know if there is a specific way I can be praying for you as well.
Please let me know if you are interested in meeting one on one to talk more about life and Jesus! I am here in Dallas for the next 3 months, open to starting to build new relationships and keep the old as well :)

…"so let this love be like a fire, let our life be like a flame, fill our souls with YOUR desire, let our passion bring YOU fame…”