judgement

As anyone knows, that has ever raised support, your view on money completely changes in the process. It's harder to spend money on things that are not of utmost value. And by that I mean, we begin to really re-prioritize where our money goes and what we view as "worth" our money. Living on a budget and knowing that people are pouring the money Jesus has blessed them with into my life, I want to honor them and be a good steward of the money that I have been given. And above honoring the giver, I want to honor Jesus who from all blessings flow.

I was reading an article in Relevant magazine and it began to really put into words the things that I have been struggling to see and so frustrated watching our consumer mentality twist.

"With a budget, you’re spending everything on paper, on purpose, before the month begins. And if you believe you are simply a steward of everything that passes through your hands—that it all belongs to God anyway—then you understand budgeting really isn’t an option. It’s a necessity."

-Relevant magazine

A few days ago, I was sitting in a coffee shop in a very, what I call, "outer appearance" area, also known as a place that spends more money in a week that I will see in my entire months budget. And I will be honest with you, I sat there and just began to have a breakdown. Because I began to realize that the deception, the veil that is covering our eyes, the one that Jesus came to remove through truth...we have a completely skewed idea of money. But in all honesty, it was more than just a breakdown, it went MUCH deeper. I began to judge each person that walked in there based on what they ordered and how much they spent on a cup or cups of coffee. I began to realize that my judgement, was deeply rooted in hurt by people who say NO to Jesus in giving, and not just to me, but to all the other places that need it as well, and turn their head and spend that money given by Him for what they deem necessary. A life we live beyond what we deserve. I've been hurt and harbored a little bitterness in this process of support raising because I see the opportunities Jesus lays down in front of people to give, but  we think we just can't squeeze that in our budget. And Jesus has had to work and continuously work to remind me that I am at fault too, and to show me that He has given me ways to give and I am slowly learning the freedom I feel and have in Him when I am obedient to give. Not to say that it was an easy process to get me there.

"You’re managing God’s resources, not your own. Thinking about money that way changes your perspective. You go from holding your money with a closed fist to holding it with an open hand."

–Relevant magazine

Then I read this, that I had to take to Jesus on the hearts of people so skewed on what the purpose of money is for. (And please know, that I don't plan on blaming or pointing fingers, but I live in sin as well and so not only have I been guilty of the same things, but Jesus is healing me from my heart having the very same thoughts)

"

Well, Biblically, tithes are supposed to be "first fruits" - so tithes (the church or charities or however you've allocated it) are paid from the first bit of income every month.  If you put the first fruits aside, and then realize the eating out part or the cable part of your budget puts you back, then you need to re-prioritize. "

-comment made from the article in Relevant 

So then, we really begin thinking, if we set those things aside FIRST that He has given us all, we begin to realize that He isn't asking for leftovers, He is asking for the first. THE FIRST. And isn't our God worth it?!

One of my best friends, Lea Fassler, had prayed a prayer over me about a month ago. I printed out the prayer because it was so incredibly powerful to help me remember the truth Jesus has spoken over my life. She said one line that absolutely blew me away at the vulnerability of Jesus.

"Thank you for letting us know you…more than we need!"

He has given us this book out of complete vulnerability. And for that He deserves the same from us. When we are honest and expose where our money goes and what we choose to do with that BLESSING, we live in complete vulnerability. Money is a very vulnerable thing. But Jesus set that example, and aren't we to be, everyday shaped more like Him?

“Do whatever You want, God, but don't touch this,” then you're guilty of idolatry. -Matt Chandler 

"...we are a tool in the hands of God to right everyone else's wrongs.  And we view ourself 

in that circle, even in the Evangelical circles where it's our job to correct everyone's theology, it's our 

job to tell them how to raise their kids.  And in so doing, we neglect our own relationship with Christ, 

pressing into Christ ourself, knowing Christ deeply ourself.  Instead, we're just trying to make sure 

everyone else is." -Matt Chandler

And aren't we all a little guilty of that? If not more than just a little guilty... cause I know I am.

"Everything that you posses and all that you're currently chasing is one day going to be in a 

landfill.  It does not matter how much you love on it or how much you polish it or whether or not you 

name it.  It does not matter if you wash it on the gentle cycle and don't put it in the dryer.  Everything 

that you have and all that you're currently pursuing is on its way to the junkyard." -Matt Chandler

And yeah, this one is still slapping me in the face.


2 Corinthians 4:16, Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying (not very pleasant sounding), yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.


Now that is what I want, a refreshing, a renewing day by day.